Shintokiri
by Ominias
Summary: What happens when Kenshin dies, then reincarnates as a girl! With Battousai, too! The Elemental Nations are in for a wild ride. Sasuke x Kenshin x Kiba Co-Authored with Hitokiri Shinzui
1. The Past and The Present

**Shinzui: **Hello, y'all! Just ta let you know, if this flunks, it's all Omi's fault. Yup. All hers. I just add the gore, the plot's all hers, haha! Just kidding, Omi, don't hurt meeeee!

**Ominias:** *inspecting a very sharp katana* Hmm...this seems able to cut through walls...*glances at Shinzui* Well, you know, you did write about half of it. So if this flunks, you're the one who takes two-thirds of the blame! (^^x) Enjoy the story!

**Shinzui: **Yeah....wait, WHAT?!? Keh, I'm just gonna disclaim now...

**Disclaimer: **We of the **ShinOmi Alliance **(hehe...that sounds cool) hereby disclaim ANYTHING for this fanfiction, except the plot. That means characters, animes, mangas, songs, quotes, etcetera. We own nothing. Yeah. And we're only writing this once, so LOOK IT UP!!!

**Shintokiri**

**Chapter one: The Past and the Present**

_Dear Diary,_

_Hi, my name is Kamiya Kaoru, successor of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu created by my father. This is the first time I've written in you, despite getting it on my birthday a month ago. I don't know why. I guess...I need to get my thoughts out._

_It's been a week since...since Kenshin...passed away. I've been a wreck. Sanosuke, Yahiko and Megumi-san tried to comfort me, but I can tell that they are shocked and grieved inside, too. The thing is, I can't get him out of my mind now, his silly and gentle eyes, his flaming red hair...It's all so...all so..._

_...Great, I'm bawling again. I think I have to stop here, or else my tears will stain the page._

_~Kaoru_

~*~*~*~*~

Kenshin sighed. He looked at his wife, Kaoru, writing in the red and white diary Misao got her for her birthday. He felt guilt as she broke out in sobs again. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was a mess, her favourite indigo ribbon absent from the navy blue strands. It hurt him to see her like this, all because his battle wounds caught up to him.

_'Well, too late now, Rurouni.'_

'I know that, Battousai.'

He sighed again. He thought Battousai's voice had died a while ago, but apparently not. In his spirit form like this, sometimes Battousai materializes beside him, too.

_'A Hitokiri is a Hitokiri for life, but it never says it can't be an alternate personality, either, you know.'_

'Hai, hai.'

_'Well, if you'll excuse me, _I'm_ going to take a nap. Do NOT disturb me, __**understand**__?'_

Kenshin mentally waved Battousai off, and continued watching Kaoru slip into her futon, before walking out of the house. Being a ghost, he didn't feel the chilling night air, nor the snow falling in soft clumps. He walked over to his tombstone, and sat on it while gazing at the stars.

"It's a beautiful night."

Kenshin turned his head to the newcomer.

"Hai, it is. And who may you be?"

"A messenger. Himura Kenshin, I was sent here to accompany you to the afterlife."

_'Pfft, about time. It got boring being here.'_

'Battousai? You're awake?'

_'Well, it's not like I can fall asleep when there's so much _noise_ now can I?'_

He looked down at his hands, looking bright red only to him, and Battousai, of course. He turned to the newcomer, with sad eyes.

"But, sessha wishes to atone more for the deaths sessha committed."

The messenger sighed. It was curious, since it was just a vague human shape, not really having form.

"A person on the other side warned me that you'd say something like that, so the higher-ups agreed that they'll let you reincarnate, but Battousai will still be with you."

Kenshin winced, remembering the chaos he committed.

_'Hey, I'm not a mindless killer, okay? You of all people should know that, Rurouni.'_

Kenshin paused, silently agreeing with Battousai, then quirked his head to the side. "Was it...was it Tomoe?"

"Hai. And just for fun, you're going to be a girl."

"ORO?!"

_'WHAT?!'_

"Well, see ya!" He swore it was smirking.

Kenshin blacked out. _'HEY! Don't fall asleep on me! HEY!'_

~*~*~*~*~

**Konoha, several centuries later...**

"Dododo, dododododo, dododo, do!"

_'Shut up.'_

'No. Dododo, dododododo, dododo, do-'

_'BE QUIET RUROUNI!'_

'Why should sessha be quiet, de gozaru?'

_'Because if you don't, I will personally get out and kill you.'_

'How are you going to do that? And besides, if you kill sessha, you'll die too.'

_'…'_

"That's what sessha thought. Now, dododo, dododododo, dododo, do! Dododo..."

A girl with crimson red hair tied loosely to her mid-back sung while walking down the streets of Konoha. She smirked as she could hear the resident in her mind bang his head on the imaginary table out of frustration. Now, mind you, she was _not_ crazy. She had that disembodied voice in her head ever since she was born, but never realized it until age 6. Despite his arrogant attitude, he made her feel less lonely, since she didn't have any parents to speak of.

_'Oi, Rurouni! Watch where you're going, idiot!'_

'Sessha's not an idiot, Battousai!' She shot back as she dodged the woman who she almost bumped into.

_'Well maybe I'd stop calling you one if you'd WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING FOR ONCE!'_

She winced as he yelled at her. 'Hai, hai.'

_'Good. Now get to class. You're late.'_

She widened her eyes. She then leaned forwards, before dashing through the streets only a swordsmaster could. Well, maybe a ninja, but oh well.

"Kuso! Today's the graduation exams!"

_'Well, get moving then!'_

She needed no more prodding as she sped faster towards the academy.

~*~*~*~*~

When she finally burst though the doors of her classroom panting, she sighed with relief to see that Iruka-sensei wasn't there yet. Suddenly, she was met with a face full of Sakura and Ino.

"And where were you?" Sakura with her annoyingly high-pitched voice said.

"Late, de gozaru."

"And why were you late?" Ino sneered.

"Weeell, you see, sessha would have come earlier, but when sessha was making breakfast, three jonin bashed through her window and started fighting! There was blood and kunai everywhere, and this one gray haired guy wouldn't stop _screaming_! And then this woman tackled the gray haired guy, and her friend grabbed this weird orange book and ran away! And, of course, sessha had to follow! So sessha followed her into the market place..... and then lost track of time." Kenshin finished lamely.

Sakura and Ino just stared at her. Kenshin scratched the back of her head nervously.

"Riiiiiiight," Ino drawled, rolling her eyes. "Sure, sure, GO TO YOUR CHAIR, HIMURA!"

Kenshin pouted, before bouncing up to the back of the classroom. 'And I was so sure that one would work, too.'

'_Rurouni, that one never works.'_

'Oh, shut up.'

Kenshin plopped down into her seat beside Konoha's resident lazy genius, the one and only Nara Shikamaru. Who was currently sleeping. Kenshin let out a little growl of annoyance, before poking his unmoving body. Repetitively. Giggling slightly, it took a while for her to notice the voice of the boy behind her.

"Kenshin? Hey, Keeeenshiiiiiiin? OI, KENSHIN!"

Kenshin jumped slightly, spinning in her chair to glare at the offender. "What do you want, Inuzuka-san?" she said, slightly annoyed.

Kiba looked wounded. "Aww, back to the formalities again, Red? And I thought we had something..." He pouted, glaring at the red head in mock hurt.

Kenshin rolled her eyes. 'That guy's bizarre, de gozaru.'

Battousai made a little coughing noise. _"Rurouni?"_

'Aa?' Kenshin answered silently, curious.

'_.....never mind."_

Just as Kenshin was about to respond, Iruka's voice called out from the front of the classroom. "Aburame Shino."

Kenshin watched the stoic bug user walk quietly up to the front of the classroom, only to come back minutes later with a shiny new hitai ate tied securely around his forehead. Kenshin watched them go steadily down the line, before finally, like a call from heaven, her name was called.

"Himura Kenshin."

Kenshin jumped up and skipped down the stairs into the examination room, her crimson ponytail whipping about. "Finally, de gozaru!" she exclaimed. Iruka just grinned.

"Ok, Kenshin. You've passed the taijutsu and genjutsu tests with flying colours, and your written wasn't too shabby, either! Now, all you have to do is make three perfect Bunshin to pass."

"Like this, Iruka-sensei?" Kenshin asked innocently. Beside her stood four exact copies of her, each looking appropriately Kenshin-like. Iruka could have swore one of the was smirking at him.

"C-congratulations, Kenshin! Come pick up your Hitai ate!" Iruka exclaimed. Mizuki smiled somewhat tightly, and congratulated her as well. Kenshin skipped over, and grabbed a hitai ate before they could change their minds.

'Thanks, Battousai.' Kenshin said silently.

'_No problem, Rurouni. Just get better, and next time, I won't have to help you, now will I?'_

Kenshin tied the plated cloth around her forehead, fluffing out her bangs so that they nearly covered the leaf symbol.

"Smart ass," she mumbled, too low for the chunin at the front to hear. She gave a cheery wave to her teachers, before running out the door to show off the symbol of adulthood she now wore.

'_See, Rurouni,'_ Battousai thought to himself, _'life isn't so bad as a girl.'_

**-**

**-**

**-**

**-A/N: The end of the first chapter!!!! Please review, ok? That includes you lazy people who just like to story alert. REVIEW!! **

Ominias

Shinzui

**ShinOmi Alliance! **

Yeah............review!


	2. Team 7

**Ominias:** Hi. We're back!

**Shinzui: **Yup~! Yup~! We are!! LOVE USSSS!!!!! .

**Ominias:** Um...ok...

**Shinzui: **=D

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Is Disclaimed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Shintokiri**

**Chapter Two: Team 7**

Kenshin moaned as the loud ringing of her alarm clock drove into her skull. She hit the button on it, before it clattered to the ground. She growled.

"Why does that stupid alarm clock have to be so loud, de gozaru?!"

_'Stop whining Rurouni. You haven't got half as bad as I did when I was training with Shishou at his shack.'_

'Cottage, Battousai. Cottage.'

_'You've never seen the thing. It's a shack.'_

Kenshin bickered with Battousai as she did her morning routine. She attempted to tame the fiery mess of hair, then gave up and settled for a loose low ponytail. She tied her hitai-ate on her forehead, bangs covering the shiny metal. She hurriedly changed out of her sleeping yukata and wore her navy blue gi top ('But I want purple!' _'No! I will not allow you to wear such a horrid color as _pink_!'_) and black ninja shorts that went down to her knees.

_'I mean, who can live there, anyways? He should have bought a decent house instead of all that sake he drinks. I'm amazed that he didn't die from heart disease or something!'_

Kenshin mentally sighed as wrapped white bandages over her feet up to past her ankles, then slipped on her blue ninja sandals. She grabbed her sakabato and rushed out the door, Battousai still ranting in her head as she sprinted out the door to the academy.

'Battousai?'

_' -that womaniz-yes?'_

"Please stop shouting, de gozaru. Sessha's slowing down because of an oncoming migraine.'

_'…'_

~*~*~*~*~

Kenshin burst through the door of her classroom to find that this time, she really _was_ late.

"HIMURA KENSHIN!"

She jumped at Iruka's yell, causing her to trip on a stray floorboard. She fell, but instantly pulled into a defensive roll, ending with a victory pose.

"Hai, sensei! Sessha's arrived!"

"I can see that, Kenshin. Now get to your seat." He replied, a vein pulsing on his head. Kenshin sweatdropped.

"Hai, sensei." Kenshin walked over to her seat, plopping down unceremoniously into the chair.

"Yo, Red. Finally decided to show up, didja?"

She turned her head to glare half-heartedly at Kiba.

"Hai, hai. Sessha wouldn't be late if a certain_ someone_ wasn't yelling so loudly while I was trying to get here!" She mentally jabbed Battousai with her elbow. Kiba sighed.

"You and your imaginary friend again. I'm surprised that they didn't send you to the looney bin yet."

"Inuzuka-san!"

"Relax, relax." He chuckled. Iruka's voice finally registered into their minds as he called out the next names.

"Team 7, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Sasuke Uchiha."

"Iruka-sensei! What were you thinking of, pairing a most excellent shinobi like myself up with that loser!?" A blond-haired boy wearing bright orange said, his loud voice piercing into her skull as he pointed to the quiet black-haired boy sitting near him.

"Ow..." Kiba glanced down at Kenshin in concern.

"Are you alright, Red?"

"H-hai Inuzuka-san. It's just a migraine." He raised an eyebrow.

"_Just_ a migraine?"

"Hai." Kiba shook his head.

'Because of _someone..._'

_'Hey, that was that blond kid's fault, not mine.'_

'Maybe, but you were the root of it, Battousai."

_'Psssh. Me? No way.'_ Kenshin mentally rolled her eyes.

"Team 8, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, and Hyuuga Hinata." Kiba pouted.

"Aww, no offense to the other guys, but I wanted to be in the same cell as Red." Kenshin stared at him, confused.

'Why would he want to be specifically in sessha's team? I mean, we're friends, but why not Shikamaru-san or Choji-san?'

_'Rurouni?'_

'Hm? Yes Battousai?'

_'...Nothing.'_ She raised an eyebrow, but left it at that.

'Deja-vu?'

_'…'_

Kenshin then droned out the rest of the world, taking refuge in her own mind. She chatted with Battousai for a bit, then snapped back to reality as Iruka finished saying the team match-ups. She never once heard her name, even Battousai who was more alert than her didn't pick it up.

"Ok, everyone. I'll be introducing your jonin squad leaders this afternoon. Until then, you're dismissed."

"OI, Iruka-sensei! Red wasn't put into a team yet!" Kiba bursted out before anyone could move.

Iruka looked confused before reading over the list. "Hm...you're right... Oh! It says here in a note at the bottom that Himura Kenshin will be in Team 7 with Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke."

"WHAT?!"

~*~*~*~*~

Kenshin swung her legs over the railing on the roof of a building she was currently sitting on. She tore open the wrapper and ate a piece of banana bread. Funny, it was shaped like a banana, too.

'Hey Battousai?'

_'Yes Rurouni?'_

'...While you were sleeping, sessha was thinking...Why are you a voice in sessha's head, even though you are definitely real, de gozaru? Who are you, anyways? Yeah yeah, sessha's heard so many times, you're the 'savior' and yet most feared person in Japan back in the Bakumatsu...an assassin, a hitokiri...but...'

_'...Rurouni...'_

'...Battousai?'

_'Hai?'_

'...nevermind.'

_'..Maybe it's time...'_

'Hunh?'

_'Nothing. Go back to eating your banana bread. It's getting cold.'_

'Alright.'

She ate in silence for a while afterwards. When she popped the last piece into her mouth, she jumped off the railing, and started running to the forest near the academy.

'Well, let's get some training in before we meet our jonin instructor! Sessha's yet to perfect that new kata you taught me!'

_'Right.'_

~*~*~*~*~

Sasuke walked through the deep forest of Konoha. He was near the academy now, but wanted to relax, just a bit, so here he was. His ears perked up when he heard the sound of metal slicing air, along with quiet but slightly heavy breathing. He cautiously walked over to the noise, his back against a tree trunk. When he peered behind it, he gasped. There in a small clearing, was a mix of red, silver, and blue. Light glistened off of whatever the incredibly fast moving thing was, accompanied by blurs of red streaking through the air. It reminded him...of...

Suddenly, it stopped, and in the middle of the clearing, was a red-haired girl, sheathing a sword.

'Wait...isn't that Kenshin, the one who was put in my team at the last minute? And what's up with that sword? The blade's on backwards...'

Kenshin turned around, eyes flickering to his location where he his in the trees.

"Sessha knows you're there. You can come out now."

He wearily took a step out of the foliage. She gasped.

"Oh, aren't you Uchiha-san, the one on sessha's team, de gozaru? Nice to meet you!" She grinned, her amethyst eyes shining in the sun.

"Hn."

The silence stretched, until Kenshin pouted.

"You know, you could at least give me a 'Hi' or something..."

He rolled his eyes. She looked at him.

"Oh, so you're _his_ kind of person..."

He raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing! See you in the classroom, Uchiha-san!" As she skipped away, Battousai asked her a question in her mind.

_'Hey...who were you talking about?'_

'You, of course! He reminds me of you...well, except for your ego.'

_'Hey! I bet he has a much larger ego than I do!'_

'Hm...maybe...how much do you wanna bet?'

_'How about my mental dango?'_

'Deal.'

~*~*~*~*~

Sasuke stared after the skipping girl, irked. He didn't know why he was, he just...was. He huffed, then continued on his walk. His mind kept straying to her show of strength, the howling sounds still fresh in his mind. He clenched his fists. During class, she was mediocre, average. She would get picked on by the other classmates because of her hair and eyes. She was strong in ninjutsu, strongest in taijutsu. Chakra control medium. Bad at history, physics, the like...

He stopped. Why does he know all this? He's never really noticed her before, so why...? He shoved his hands in his pockets and pressed on, the academy bell ringing throughout the forest.

Oh well.

'I'm going to have to lug her around on missions anyway, so I suppose it's better for me if I know. Besides, she'll just have to get stronger.'

~*~*~*~*~

**Ominias: **Done. I wrote all that!

**Shinzui: **HEY!!!! You didn't give me a chance!! That was mean, Omi!!! T.T

**Ominias:** -_- Whatever. Review, please!


	3. The Masked Pervert

Shinzui: We're back!!!! And it's my turn to write first! Yay!! .

Ominias: Mhm. Now will you stop bugging me about it? -_- Haha. ^^x Well, anyways...*walks off to her secret dimension*

Shinzui: M'gonna disclaim now, yeah? And Warning!!!! We the people of ShinOmi don't like Sakura too much! Be prepared for minor bashing, yeah!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Is Disclaimed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Shintokiri**

**Chapter 3: The Masked Pervert**

Kenshin watched as the other academy students suddenly filtered away, being picked up by different Jonin, and, in one case, a very disgruntled Chunin.

Kenshin didn't ask. She was on her high. But soon enough, even her happiness was starting to wear away, as another hour passed with no sensei.

She had her knees up to her chest, and was sitting on a desk near the wall, watching as her new teammate, Uzumaki Naruto, tried to get Sakura's attention. Kenshin nearly gagged. She could see with the way that he held himself, and the way that his eyes were always hidden, that he wasn't truly  
interested in the banshee. His reasons, however, were a complete mystery to her. And quite frankly, she didn't care for the pink haired girl, either.

_'Rurouni....'_

Kenshin perked up–Battousai had been unusually silent for the past couple of hours. 'Hai, Battousai?'

She could practically feel the Hitokiri smirk. _'Calm down, you're starting to act too much like Shishou.'_

Kenshin blinked, a little peeved. 'You mean like you, Battousai. And it's not exactly sessha's fault, de gozaru. You know that.' She looked over to the quiet Uchiha. "Battousai is starting to effect sessha's head." she mumbled.

"Don't worry, Ken-chan! Having a voice in your head doesn't make you loopy!"

Kenshin nearly jumped a mile as a voice came for beside her. She spun to see a grinning orange clad ninja, his face inches from her own.

"Ororo.." she mumbled into her hand, steadying her rapidly beating heart. "Don't do that, de gozaru!" she exclaimed, glaring at the boy.

'Jeez, why didn't sessha notice him?'

_'Ya gotta learn to be stealthy when you're wearing a glowing neon sign, baka.'_

She was actually quite surprised when the boy flinched backwards slightly at her tone, and she cocked an eyebrow as he flushed, his eyes flicking to Sakura.

'Hehe, sorry, Ken-chan." Aww, Ken-chan, how cute! "I just heard you mumbling, and, well...yeah..." he trailed off, his hand scratching at the back of his neck. Kenshin couldn't help but smile.

"It's okay, Uzumaki-san! Sessha's fine with that, de gozaru yo!" she piped out, grinning widely at the blond.

Naruto smiled, his blue eyes averted towards the window. He plopped down beside Kenshin, and she had just opened her mouth when a scream ran through the room.

"YOU'RE LATE!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto spun around, looking suddenly murderous. Sakura was still panting with exertion, her face red from yelling. Sasuke had his head in his hands, his expression practically shouting death threats. Kenshin lightly fingered her sakabatou.

The masked man at the door leaned up against the frame, his one black eye looking at the four of them lazily. "My first impression of you guys is...." They all held their breath. "I hate you. Meet me on the roof in five." Then he disappeared. Bastard.

Kenshin shook her head, then she called to the boys, "Come on, de gozaru yo!" She grabbed the both of their hands, dragging them up the flight of stairs to the roof. Sakura followed as fast as she could. When the three of them arrived at the roof top before the pinkette, Kenshin and Naruto were  
laughing, and Sasuke was scowling, trying (and failing) to hide the slight blush on his alabaster cheeks. He shook his hand from Kenshin's, turning to go sit on the cement.

Kakashi watched them talk, wondering just why in the seven hells did he agree to teach a genin team? Oh yeah, a funny little thing called blackmail, which wasn't quite so funny when your favorite ** series was threatened. Honestly, he hadn't known that Kurenai was that set on destroying them! He  
sighed and leant against the railings, waiting for the other three genin to stop bickering and just sit beside the Uchiha brat.

The Uchiha.....funnily enough, he didn't look that impressive to Kakashi. He sighed again. To quote his friend Nara Shikaku, this was going to be troublesome.

~*~*~*~*~

Finally, the group settled down, and sat on the cement step beside Sasuke. He cleared his throat.

"All right then. Why don't you all tell a little bit about yourselves."

"Hm? Like what?"

Kakashi crossed his arms. "You know, the usual. What you love, what you hate, hobbies, dreams, ambitions...that kind of stuff."

Naruto looked at him confused. "Well, why don't you show us how it's done?"

"Yeah....After all, you're a complete stranger to us...a mystery." Sakura chirped in.

"Oh, me? Well...My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like talking about his likes and dislikes! My dreams are none of your business, but anyway, I have a lot of hobbies..."

Kenshin sweatdropped. '...Well, that's one way of doing it.'

_'Tch.'_

"Alright, now it's your turn. Starting with you, on the right." That would be Naruto.

"Hi! My name's Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is cup ramen! What I like even better is when Iruka-sensei treats me to ramen at the Ichiraku Ramen Shop, dattebayo! What I hate is the three minute wait after I add in the boiling water. My dream is to one day be a better shinobi than the hokage! And then all the villagers will have to acknowledge me at last! My hobbies are pranks and practical jokes, I guess."

Kenshin looked at him, surprsied. 'Uzumaki-san...'

_'Hmph. I've got a slightly new respect for the kid. Except for the ramen.'_

'But-but...ramen's **good**!!!' Battousai rolled his eyes.

"Next!"

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are plenty of thing I hate, but I don't see how it matters, since there is almost nothing I like, anyway. It seems pointless to talk about 'dreams'...it's just a word...But what I do have is determination. I plan to restore my clan, and there is someone I have to kill."

'…' Kenshin looked at him, sympathetic. She turned her head, so Sasuke missed her brief glance.

_'...You can feel it, right, Rurouni? His ki...'_

'It's full of killing intent. Wonder what has happened to him, de gozaru...But I won't pry.'

_'Hmph.'_

"Alright. Next, the young lady."

"I am Haruno Sakura. My favorite thing is...well, it's not a thing, it's a person...a boy... and that boy is..."

Sakura kept stealing glances at Sasuke. Kenshin felt the urge to bang her head on the cement. Hard. Said person being spoken about didn't notice or care about the obvious signs she was giving him.

"Uh...let's move onto my dream..."

Suddenly, she blushed, hard. Kenshin did actually start smacking her head off a nearby pole, causing odd stares in her direction. She recomposed herself and cleared her throat. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but simply said, "And you over there."

"Sessha's name is Himura Kenshin, de gozaru. Sessha loves kenjutsu, and the mental dango that the person residing in sessha's head makes. Especially the white ones."

Kakashi butted in. "Mental dango? Person in your head?"

"Sessha's not crazy, de gozaru!" Kenshin retaliated, seeing the look he was giving her. Kakashi sighed.

"All right. Carry on."

"As sessha was saying. Sessha hates other's pain and suffering, suicidal people, and when Ba-...the person that lives in sessha's head rants on and on loudly, therefore giving sessha a migraine."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Sessha's dream is to be the best kenjutsu master ever, and to save as many people possible from pain and suffering! Oh, and Ba-...the person that lives in sessha's head says that his dream is to find a way to get out of sessha's mind whenever he wants so he can smack sessha upside in the head...hey!" She protested to the entity in the mind. Everyone sweatdropped again.

"Are you alright?"

"Hai, sensei. Why wouldn't sessha be?"

Kakashi sighed. So he had to deal with a hyperactive blond, an emo Uchiha, a lovesick pinkette, and a mentally insane sword-happy girl? Why does he have to put up with this?! Oh yeah. Icha Icha Paradise. Stupid blackmail. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Alright, enough. I believe formal training begins tomorrow."

Suddenly, Naruto jumped up. "Yes, sir! What will our duties be?! Our first real shinobi mission!"

"Our first project involves only the members in this cell."

"What is it? What?!"

"Survival exercises."

'Oh...'

_'Tch.'_

'What is it, Battousai?'

_'I can see where this guy is going...'_

'Oro?'

_'If he's anything like shisho, he's going to mess around with our heads, and end up beating us up, all the while humiliating us.'_

Kenshin sweatdropped. '...Okaaay...Not good. Well, maybe sessha can practice Dou Ryu Sen on him, hehehe...'

_'You're starting to sound like me.'_

'Well that's what sessha said before, right? You're messing up sessha's head, de gozaru!' Battousai rolled his eyes.

"...has a- Hey! Are you listening to me?!" Kenshin jerked out of her thoughts.

"Oh, sensei, sessha's sorry. Sessha was talking to him, de gozaru yo."

Kakashi sighed. Yep, definitely crazy. "Him? The voice in your head?"

"Hai!"

"Alright then.....anyways, as I was saying, the test we are about to preform has a 66% chance of failure."

Kenshin sighed. "Guess you were right..."

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"Nothing, sensei."

_'Ha! Told you.'_

'I wonder how the famous Hitokiri Battousai came to such a level as _gloating_?'

_'Did you say something, Rurouni?'_

'Oh, nothing at all.'

_'Che.'_ Battousai stalked off to a deeper part of her mind. Kenshin had a wide smirk plastered on her face.

'Ho hum.'

A hand brought her back to reality. "Ken-chan?"

"Oro? Sorry, Uzumaki-san."

"That's okay! By the way, sensei said to be at this place at five am, without eating breakfast so we won't throw up, dattebayo!" He said, handing her a paper.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Uzumaki-san!"

"Don't mention it!"

She smiled, and turned to her paper.

'...Why do I have a bad feeling about this?'

~*~*~*~*~

Ominias: Well, I wrote most of it, again. Shinzui wrote the beginning though.

Shinzui: Yeah, I gave up at the page break! ^-^;; I can't write Sasuke, cuz technically, I hate him!!

Ominias: Hm. Read and review, please!

Shinzui: Yeah! Do so! Now!! Do it!! Go!!! .


	4. Jingle Bells, Bentos Smell

**Shinzui: Aaaand, we're back! Finally!**

**Ominias: After several months of being patronized by Shinzui here, anyway.**

**Shinzui: Sh-shut up! X3**

**Ominias: Mhm. Well, at least it's here. I'm sure we're going to get tomatoed for this wait. -_-;; Enjoy.**

_'Atom.'_

'Banana.'

_'Color.'_

'Dango!'

_'Experience.'_

'Futon.'

_'Goldfish.'_

'Uh...Helium...?'

_'Incandescent.'_

'Um...uh...Jump.'

_'Kindness.'_

Kenshin knit her eyebrows together in thought. She and Battousai was playing a game in her head, as a result of waiting for half an hour for Kakashi, who still hasn't turned up after 3 hours of playing.

'Liquor hehehe...'

Battousai raised an eyebrow. _'Morning.'_

'Noogie.'

The exchange kept going back and forth between the two red-heads, oblivious to the people staring at them (her) while Kenshin's face went from frustration, to happiness, to worry, to hyperness. The three bystanders jumped as she suddenly yelled out, while jumping up and down.

"I DID IT! WOOO! TAKE THAT BATTOUSAI! WOOOO!"

Sasuke winced, Naruto fell down, and Sakura glared.

"Shut up, Kenshin! Not only are you crazy, but do you have to be so loud about it?" Sakura said to Kenshin, who was still ecstatic.

"Hai, Pinky-chan!" Sakura growled. Suddenly, Kakashi appeared, and Sakura started yelling at him, instead. Kenshin paid no heed, since it was because of her sensei's tardiness that she won against Battousai in a word game for the first time.

"Thank you so much sensei!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but just ignored her odd comment and started leading the group to the training area.

'Why me...?'

They arrived at a big field, surrounded by a forest an a river to the side. Four thick stakes stuck out vertically from the ground, on one of them was an alarm clock.

"I've set this alarm clock to go off at noon." Kakashi said, placing a hand on the clock. Then, he pulled out three silver bells from inside his pocket. "I have here three small bells. You have to get these away from me before the alarm rings. If you fail, you don't get any lunch, and you will be tied to a stump while I eat your lunches in front of you."

Three teammates' stomachs growled. _'See Rurouni? I told you.'_

'Orororo...Thanks Battousai.'

_'Hah! You actually thanked me!'_

Kenshin sweatdropped.

"All you need is one bell a piece. But since there aren't enough to go around, one of you is definitely headed for the stump, and whoever that is will fail the test, and be sent back to school with disgrace."

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke looked nervous, while Kenshin had a blank mask perfectly coating her face. Kakashi looked at her. Was it just him, or was her eyes more blue than before?

"You may use shuriken, kunai, swords." He nodded to Kenshin who seemed happy. "Attack as though you're going to kill me or you won't stand a chance."

Kenshin nodded, Sakura looked horrified, Naruto looked overconfident, and Sasuke was indifferent to the statement.

"Alright...begin!"

They all dashed away, leaving Kakashi scratching his head.

'Well...let's see what these punks have got.'

_'…'_

'…'

_'..'_

'Yo, Battousai?'

_'What?'_

'...Is it just me, or are we in a genjutsu where ducks are running around pecking each other on their heads?'

_'It's just you, Rurouni. It's just you. Now, FOCUS!'_

Naruto could honestly say that he felt like a moron. He watched Sasuke and Kenshin flit away into the trees without hesitation, and all he did was move to stand directly in front of his potential sensei, and taunt him like there was no tomorrow.

Which there very well wouldn't be if he managed to fail the exam for Sakura and the others.

He tuned out Kakashi's lecture, and studied the tall, silver haired jonin. He could find nothing remarkable about his appearance, except for the hitai-ate that slanted to cover his one eye. He cursed out loud, drawing the jonin's attention to him.

Of course he would have the annoyingly mysterious sensei. Karma just _loved _to screw with him.

Abandoning all caution, Naruto drew a kunai and charged at the jonin, instinctively creating a good dozen kage bunshin for back up. He picked up his pace, for the umpteenth in his life cursing the baggy pants he wore, and all thirteen Naruto's let out savage cries as they descended upon their teacher.

Ten minutes later, Naruto was dangling from his ankle under a tree, watching as Sasuke appeared to maim and possibly kill their sensei.

Needless to say, Naruto desperately wanted to learn some cool moves like that.

His jealousy was replaced by amusement as Kakashi poofed away, revealing a warped log in his place.

Naruto couldn't help but grin. "Owned," he whispered.

'There! His guard's down!'

I threw shuriken at him. He used substitution!

'Damn!' I ran away. Well, what do you expect me to do? I've just alerted an elite ninja to my position! Oh, so you expect me to go out there and fight? I'll do that if he finds me! Ninjas use the element of surprise to their advantage!

Dashing through the trees at top speed, I suddenly came to a halt as I saw a flash of red. 'Wha...?' I was suddenly reminded of that dreadful night...red like...' I angrily shoved that thought to the back of my mind. Now is not the time!

I brushed a stray black lock of hair away, even though it wasn't in my face in the first place.

"A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and she said to the man..."

Confused, I hid behind a tree. I peered out to see...Kenshin, was it? What's that baka doing? She's in a clearing **in plain sight**, singing a demented song about a duck! Faintly, I think it was my imagination, but I thought I heard very faint yells of aggravation. Or, at least, while one part of her was all bouncy and weird and...sugary, the other was screaming _bloody murder_.

Blinking, I almost missed the streak of silver heading for the red. I put my guard up and flinched when I heard collision.

Wait...That didn't hit her? How...!

"Finally, de gozaru! Sessha's been standing here and singing for, what a whole five minutes, and it took this long to find me. Honestly!" I saw our 'sensei' twitch.

"Anyways, good that you're finally here! Sessha's been meaning to practice this move that she couldn't practice without good reason! You know, with me not going out at all, and people don't really like debris in their streets and forests, ironically. So, let's go!"

I face-palmed, while sensei twitched again. He let out a long sigh.

"Fine, let's go."

"Oh? I thought we already started!"

He looked at her, confused. Suddenly, his eyes widened in realization when he realized...

...The bells were GONE!

I stared in disbelief.

"Does this mean I pass, sensei?"

He blinked. I think that just took a big blow to his ego.

"...Can I still do that move, though?"

"No."

"WHAT? Wahhh..."

….Was this really the same person?

They all regrouped back at the stone and the stumps. Naruto was tied to one of them, glaring angrily. Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Well, then, are you going to give those to anyone."

"Yep!" Kenshin tossed a bell to Naruto, a bell to Sasuke, and a bell to Sakura. They all had confused faces.

"Wha, but Ken-chan! You don't have a bell now!" Naruto yelled out, his eyes wide with shock.

"Sessha knows, de gozaru! You all deserve it more than sessha does..."

_'...Are you sure Rurouni?'_

'Positive. Sessha...isn't anyone special. You are Battousai, but ne, please...wait one more year...?'

_'Rurouni...'_

'It's Kenny.'

_'…...'_

"Well then, Kenshin, come with me. The rest of you. Sasuke, Sakura, eat the bento, but don't _ever_ give any to Naruto. That's what he gets for trying to cheat."

"Heeeey..." Naruto whimpered. Sasuke and Sakura nodded.

Kakashi and Kenshin walked away, Kenshin giving them goofy grins of encouragement. "Good luck Uzumaki-san, Pinky-chan, Emo!"

Naruto grinned, while Sakura and Sasuke growled, Sasuke albeit quietly. With one last wave, she poofed with Kakashi.

"Are you fine with this?"

"Well, yeah! Why wouldn't sessha be? I mean, there's always...next year."

"Is your conviction to be a ninja that small?"

Her smile faltered. "...Actually...Sessha...really wanted to be a ninja...Sessha...trained long and hard for this day..." Her smile slipped off but quickly got replaced with another. "But, sessha thinks that those guys deserve it more, de gozaru! Did you forget my dream?"

Kakashi looked dead serious...but then started mask-smiling (smiling with a mask on...duh).

"You...pass!"

Kenshin blinked. "Oro?"

"Mhm. Come, we've got to see if there are any...'rule-breakers' in our little trio."

Kenshin sweatdropped, but perked up slightly when she heard a familiar voice.

_'Congratulations...Rurouni.'_

'Thanks Battousai!' Her face was brimmed with happiness. Battousai congratulating her...NOT being sarcastic! This is the best day of her life. Kenshin searched her gi but was disappointed to not be able to find a calendar within it's folds. 'Sessha wanted to mark this day in celebration...' Battousai snorted in annoyance and humor.

_'Silly Rurouni.'_

Kenshin pouted. Throughout this exchange, Kakashi sent weirded out looks her way. What he could see was odd. One second, her face was cold but proud-ish, the next it was overflowing with happiness. That soon turned to annoyance, then to a pout. What was with the maniac?

Naruto's eyes widened drastically as Sasuke grudgingly thrust his bento towards him. He stared at it, open mouthed and uncomprehending. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear Sasuke speaking to Sakura when all of a sudden another bento was thrust in his face, this time by a flushed kunoichi.

Naruto made no move to thank them, and only smiled slightly, his face going bright red in the process.

Just as he was about to take a bite of his peace-offering, the clearing erupted into smoke and a booming voice rang through the air.

"YOU...!" Kakashi's face emerged from the smoke, eyes gleaming in rage. Naruto flinched back into the pole, his eyes closing. Sasuke jumped to his feet, battle-poised and kunai drawn.

Sakura fell on her ass with a shriek, rice and vegetables flying everywhere.

"...pass!"

Silence.

"...Wait...WHAT?"

Kakashi moved forward to pick Sakura up by the back of her dress. "Up until now, you were all following my every command like mindless little drones." He eye smiled at them. "But you have to realize, that sometimes the right thing to do is to disobey your orders."

Kenshin peeked out from behind a tree and ran towards them, her violet eyes sparkling.

Kakashi's mood turned sombre. "My very best friend told me before he died...'A shinobi who breaks the rules is trash...but a shinobi who abandons his comrades...is worse than trash. Meet me here tomorrow at nine. We've got some work to do."

Sasuke and Sakura immediately started walking away, arguing about something. Naruto lay there stunned, unable to move because of his bindings.

'_Mindless little drones...'_

"...maki-san...Uzumaki-san!" Kenshin's voice cut through his musings. Naruto looked up to find himself unbound, with a grinning Kenshin kneeling in front of him.

"Wanna get lunch with me, Uzumaki-san?"

Naruto hesitated, glancing up at Kenshin's sincere violet eyes. He nodded slowly, a flush spreading on his cheeks. "Okay...but it's gotta be ramen!"

Kenshin only laughed, and they raced there way towards Ichiraku's, both proud shinobi of Konoha.

**Shinzui: Aaaand, CUT! Phew! I didn't even write HALF of that, and I'm still tired! Damn exams!**

**Ominias: Yeah, well that's why I tell you to study, ne? Really, Shinzui. I mean it. Anyways, tell the readers who did who then. **

**Shinzui: Well, I BETAed and wrote the bits with Naru POV, but the rest is all Omi's work! Great job, Omi!**

**Ominias: Mhm. Bento...I want a miso soup. I'm hungry. No, make that wonton soup...**

**Shinzui: NO! RAMEN! Miso RAMEN! It's better, it has noodles!**

**Ominias: *rolls eyes* R&R please.**


End file.
